Insight

"We demand entire freedom of action and then expect the government in some miraculous way to save us from the consequences of our own acts.... Self-government means self-reliance." --President Calvin Coolidge (1873-1933)

"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him." --American writer Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988)

Comparison of 2 Presidents

Ray Stevens on illegal immigration

Click HERE

Anonymous Quotes

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
• War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening," and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
• I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
• A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."
• I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
• The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
• Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
• Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
• I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
• There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
• You're never too old to learn something stupid.
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
• A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Actual Classified Ads

“Stock up and save. Limit: one.”
“We build bodies that last a lifetime.”
“For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.”
“Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.”
“Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!”
“Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.”
“Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.”
“Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.”
“3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.”
“Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.”
“Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.”
“Illiterate? Write today for free help.”
“Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.”
“Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.”
“And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.”
“We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.”

August Jobs

The latest unemployment numbers are out – 9.6%. The country lost a net of 54,000 jobs. The private sector actually added 67,000 jobs, but the government cut 121,000. Since most of those government cuts were temporary census workers, those cuts come as no surprise. What is surprising is the loss of 54,000 jobs is being hailed as “progress”. That’s because the losses were worse in July, so I guess it is progress – about like the way a kid going from a 10 to a 15 on an Algebra test is “progress”. But in both cases, it’s still an ‘F’.

But its’ surprising to see how low we’ve come in our expectations. From Jan. 2001 to Dec. 2006, 7.5 million jobs were created and countless others were "saved". That's an average of 100,000+ net jobs created per month. Now we're hearing how wonderful it is that we lost "only" 54,000, by the same folks who complained that the 7.5 million weren't enough. Oh, and in Dec. 2006, unemployment was 4.6%.

So what happened? Here's a hint: Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid took control of their respective chambers in Congress in Jan. 2007 and have held it ever since. That "mess" Obama keeps saying he inherited came courtesy of his own party!

Stress Diet

A Diet For Dealing With Stress

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots & Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach & Pistachio Ice Cream; Mushrooms & Mashed Potatoes.
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We all know how calories like to cling!!)

REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.